Brandy has a feeling about that sword-balancing drag queen

Nielsen Media Research claims that last week was the “least-watched week in recorded history” for television. Apparently, Americans preferred “actually talking to each other” to “watching dudes balance heavy objects on their chins.”

Alaska just really got back into the Velvet Underground

According to a ruling on Monday in Alaska, it is legal once again for the people of that state to possess small amounts of marijuana in their homes. Those planning to visit Alaska will still have to call ahead and get a friend to confirm that they’re “cool” prior to the visit.

Well, I suppose the following has "dropped"

I have been enjoying the first two weeks of my vacation from my day job, which is teaching sixth graders here in Manhattan. Before the end of the year, my students agreed to help me make a momento so that I wouldn't forget them.

Please click below to get an idea of what the school year was like.

Class Theme Song

Just a Little Bit

The New York Times has reported that the entire Earth “jiggled” last November due to shifts in the atmosphere, which actually weighs about 5,000 trillion metric tons. “Oh come on-- I weigh 3,000 trillion, 4,000 trillion metric tons tops,” a self-conscious atmosphere replied.

El Rovo?

Election officials declared Thursday that conservative Felipe Calderon won the Mexican presidency by less than 1% of the official count. His rival, Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador refused to concede defeat and has demanded a recount.

In spite of his demands, analysts predict that within weeks, Obrador will grow a beard and withdraw from the public eye to in order to devote more time to his forthcoming documentary, “Una Verdad Inoportuna II: El Secreto del Cieno.”

Hotel Tycette

Hotel heiress Nicky Hilton is getting into the family business by launching her own hotel in Miami, Florida. The ambitious 22-year old will design the interiors herself in her signature sleek “nouveau slutlodge” style.

In addition to entertainment news tickers in the elevator and a signature scent, each room will be fully stocked with complementary little black party dresses.