Kids Say the Darndest Things

I teach middle school.

In the middle of fourth period today, one of my sixth graders looked up from his "I Am..." poem and innocently announced: "My dick hurts."

This boy is more immature than his peers. He is somewhat lacking in social skills. He was not attempting to distract his classmates, be funny, or upset his teacher. He was simply informing me, before we got ready for lunch, that his "dick hurt."

Luckily half of the class was at speech therapy and no one had heard his remark. In order to avoid what would surely be weeks of non-stop laughter, and at very least the nickname of "Sore Dick" for this boy, I calmly attempted to change the subject.

"Whoa. Right now is not the time to say something like that," I answered. "Tell me about it later."

Tell me about your hurting dick later.

Technically that's what I, the teacher, said.

Look for me on the cover of the Post.