All Your Gametes Are Belong to Us

Ah, it seems you have found my evil lair. Clever. Very clever indeed.

Unfortunately, you are too late. Nothing now can stop the evil plan of Dr. Andrew von Eschenbach!

Last week I used my power as acting FDA commissioner to make the infamous Plan B available... over the counter !! Hahahahahaha!

Now all of my evil plans may come to fruition! My dreams of murdering thousands of little babies shall come true! I will murder them before they are even remotely close to being considered babies! Mwuhahahaha!

So much power I wield!

I will help prevent ovulation !

I will cause countless teenagers to acquire STDs !

Lonely sperm inside a woman's reproductive tract will find nothing to fertilize !

I have granted women the ability to control, to a limited extent, when they will expel a gamete !

Oh, and the promiscuity will shall see! Oh, the promiscuity!

You may as well give up. The evil legacy of Dr. Andrew von Eschenbach will last forever more!!! Mwuahahahahahaha!