tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-153283732011-04-21T20:42:00.029-05:00Joe Wengert is surprised to see you here! While you're here, why don't you read things that I've typed?Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.comBlogger691100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-70313589999165069682008-04-20T17:49:00.003-05:002008-04-20T17:51:43.237-05:00

I'm sure you could have figured that out without this post. I am regularly using this blog: www.joewengert.tumblr.com.Does Blogger hate posts like this? Oh well. GOODBYE FOREVER!

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1170397543721762312007-02-02T01:24:00.000-05:002007-02-02T01:28:30.700-05:00

Hey kids! I know that this blog has already provided you with so many invaluable life lessons, but somehow I’m back with yet another tool to help all of you deal with the many dangers surrounding you: "FEMA Disaster Preparedness Maze"I hope that you all take the time to figure out how to find your way through this very realistic and accurate drill. You never know when the “real thing” could

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1168415100682502202007-01-10T02:31:00.000-05:002007-01-10T02:53:34.660-05:00

CA State Legislature Figures Out Way to Listen to Schwarzenegger Without Being So Weirded Out That He's Governor

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1165962329156659912006-12-12T17:23:00.000-05:002006-12-12T17:26:56.856-05:00

This is by far the best headline I've read in two months:"Boy Kicks Hawk in the Face, Rescues Dog"This blog is on its way to becoming your number one site for hawk-related news briefs. ...I swear to God I don't just sit around and google the words "hawk attack."

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1162253213085676052006-10-30T19:04:00.000-05:002006-10-30T19:06:53.096-05:00

I wish that I were more intrinsically motivated to update this blog. Until that happens, getting MySpace'd! by random people from high school is enough to do the trick. Probably.

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1158667696018475742006-09-19T07:07:00.000-05:002006-09-19T10:15:10.466-05:00

There's nothing like waking up in the morning and seeing a headline like this: "Hawks Attack More Than 100 People in Rio"I can't decide what I like better; this lead: "Residents of crime-plagued Rio de Janeiro have a new kind of predator to worry about -- hawks" or this quote: "This happens all the time in poor areas and people think it's funny, but when it happens in rich neighborhoods they

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1157733731182490362006-09-08T11:33:00.000-05:002006-09-08T11:42:11.193-05:00

Please allow me to highlight the best part of this article on candid comments recorded by "Governor" Arnold Schwarzenegger behind closed doors..."The meeting probably took place in the Ronald Reagan Cabinet Room, the governor's de facto office that adjoins his smaller official quarters. The conference room faces east toward lush Capitol Park and has a long conference table that serves as a giant

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1157236881077802602006-09-02T17:01:00.000-05:002006-09-02T17:43:44.250-05:00

Person Reading My Blog, Why are reading this blog now? It's Saturday! Oh wait, it's raining. Maybe that's why. If you're still bored later, come see Reuben Williams: Our Time to Shine @ the UCBT tonight. It's at 9 instead of 10:30. Plus, Lennon Parham, Eric Scott and I are welcoming special guests: Eugene Cordero! Ben Rodgers! and Charlie Sanders!I'm only sad that we didn't use our original title

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1157125257060923982006-09-01T10:32:00.000-05:002006-09-01T10:40:57.073-05:00

I never plug things on here, and this is not something to plug really, but here comes one...Neil Casey and I are trying out some new sketches at Liquid Courage at the UCBT tonight at midnight. If you've never been, it's a fun show to watch. There are guaranteed to be some winners and at least one totally insane person or sketch. ---After actively learning, performing, and teaching long-form

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1156799255148814962006-08-31T11:53:00.000-05:002006-08-31T12:18:10.706-05:00

Comedian Jackie Mason is suing the "Jews for Jesus" for distributing pamphlets featuring his name, likeness, and "shtick." Earlier reports that he was suing the organization "Jews for Caddyshack II" were incorrect. Whether or not he will have a problem with my organization "Caddyshack II for Jesus" remains to be seen.Now it's time to play "Which of these statements is a Jackie Mason joke?" (Hint:

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1156749608060018852006-08-29T23:31:00.000-05:002006-08-29T23:36:01.370-05:00

Jared Leto, seen here outside a West Hollywood lounge, has been writing a lot of poems about dead birds in study hall.

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1156746366105858942006-08-29T00:19:00.000-05:002006-08-29T00:26:48.400-05:00

Ah, it seems you have found my evil lair. Clever. Very clever indeed. Unfortunately, you are too late. Nothing now can stop the evil plan of Dr. Andrew von Eschenbach!Last week I used my power as acting FDA commissioner to make the infamous Plan B available... over the counter !! Hahahahahaha!Now all of my evil plans may come to fruition! My dreams of murdering thousands of little babies shall

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1156741712078972902006-08-28T00:06:00.000-05:002006-08-29T00:23:33.550-05:00

I read an article in the New York Times about a troupe of dancers/performers from Los Angeles who traveled to Baghdad to perform for US soliders there. The dancers go by the name "The Purrfect Angelz". For the fact that their name that contains two awesomely misspelled wordz alone, I decided to check out their site. Apparently, the Angelz have assembled to "bless the entertainment industry with

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1152819123528104042006-07-13T14:26:00.000-05:002006-07-13T14:32:03.543-05:00

Nielsen Media Research claims that last week was the “least-watched week in recorded history” for television. Apparently, Americans preferred “actually talking to each other” to “watching dudes balance heavy objects on their chins.”

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1152736943079649412006-07-12T15:39:00.000-05:002006-07-12T15:42:23.100-05:00

According to a ruling on Monday in Alaska, it is legal once again for the people of that state to possess small amounts of marijuana in their homes. Those planning to visit Alaska will still have to call ahead and get a friend to confirm that they’re “cool” prior to the visit.

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1152732934203885702006-07-12T14:35:00.000-05:002006-07-12T14:45:45.236-05:00

I have been enjoying the first two weeks of my vacation from my day job, which is teaching sixth graders here in Manhattan. Before the end of the year, my students agreed to help me make a momento so that I wouldn't forget them. Please click below to get an idea of what the school year was like. Class Theme Song

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1152649681031755102006-07-11T15:27:00.000-05:002006-07-11T15:31:07.550-05:00

The New York Times has reported that the entire Earth “jiggled” last November due to shifts in the atmosphere, which actually weighs about 5,000 trillion metric tons. “Oh come on-- I weigh 3,000 trillion, 4,000 trillion metric tons tops,” a self-conscious atmosphere replied.

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1152372079647065212006-07-08T10:18:00.000-05:002006-07-08T10:21:19.660-05:00

Election officials declared Thursday that conservative Felipe Calderon won the Mexican presidency by less than 1% of the official count. His rival, Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador refused to concede defeat and has demanded a recount.In spite of his demands, analysts predict that within weeks, Obrador will grow a beard and withdraw from the public eye to in order to devote more time to his forthcoming

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1152292718187570762006-07-07T12:12:00.000-05:002006-07-07T12:18:38.200-05:00

Hotel heiress Nicky Hilton is getting into the family business by launching her own hotel in Miami, Florida. The ambitious 22-year old will design the interiors herself in her signature sleek “nouveau slutlodge” style.In addition to entertainment news tickers in the elevator and a signature scent, each room will be fully stocked with complementary little black party dresses.

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1141853086900503632006-03-08T16:17:00.000-05:002006-03-08T16:24:46.923-05:00

As is normally the case after Christmas break, I have become extremely busy with my day job. The new year is the time when sixth grade special education students feel comfortable enough in their new surroundings to start acting REALLY crazy.I guess I have other things to do, but it's really just all of this darn educating that's making me constantly rushing and busy right now. "How busy?" you ask

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1137047219714747142006-01-12T01:21:00.000-05:002006-01-12T01:28:27.736-05:00

Although Judge Samuel Alito has insisted that he will be his own person, unable to be a "duplicate" of someone with such a "distinguished" and "historic" career, we all know that what really kills him is the fact that he will never be as pretty as Sandra Day O' Connor.

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1136957207590075682006-01-11T00:26:00.000-05:002006-01-11T00:30:17.376-05:00

Another Suspension for Skeleton TeamThe top competitor on the United States men's skeleton team, Zach Lund, was suspended yesterday after testing positive for a masking agent at a World Cup event last month in Europe. In addition, the U.S. Olympic werewolf team has lost its top werewolf due to comments he made about alcohol use. The U.S. Olympic “pumpkins with spooky eyes” team remains intact.

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1136872251143224402006-01-10T00:48:00.000-05:002006-01-10T00:58:17.653-05:00

Cloning Was Faked, Report SaysA South Korean researcher who claimed to have cloned human cells fabricated his evidence, investigators reported Tuesday.The extensive video footage Dr. Hwang submitted to scientific journals across the globe ended up being nothing more than selected clips of Michael Keaton in Multiplicity. I could've really used two, even three Michael Keatons.

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1136789514014521302006-01-09T01:47:00.000-05:002006-01-09T02:06:04.143-05:00

I stay up too late, because I end up googling for things like this instead of getting work done.I have inquired at Hugabug about what it would take to have these lady clowns perform "gags" that are slightly less than squeaky clean. Because I want juggling for my kid, but I also want some dick jokes for my buddies from work. Ah, who am I kidding? I don't really have any buddies from work. putting

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1136523616310690172006-01-05T23:58:00.000-05:002006-01-09T01:54:47.506-05:00

Rumors are circulating around Washington that weeks before Jack Abramoff’s infamous golf outing in Scotland with Bob Ney, Abramoff picked up Ney outside the Capitol building in a stretch hummer, poured Hennessy all over Ney’s exposed chest, and then forced the Congressman to do a line of blow off of his “lobbying cane.”

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1136441333903550722006-01-05T14:27:00.000-05:002006-01-05T14:26:42.916-05:00

The rest of the photography club won’t be joining us today, Rob. You see, there was no meeting scheduled for this afternoon. I have brought you here to multi-purpose room C in order to deliver the most urgent of news to you, and I’m afraid the great responsibility that goes along with it will change your life forever. No, Rob, I haven’t been drinking. My supposed drinking problem is nothing

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1136437294597694152006-01-04T23:58:00.000-05:002006-01-05T00:01:34.616-05:00

Only days after the abrupt end of the “War on Christmas,” the nation now braces itself for the impending “Valentine’s Day Conflict.”

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1136339394047591602006-01-03T20:38:00.000-05:002006-01-03T20:49:54.060-05:00

Due to cuts in antiterrorism funding, the Department of Homeland Security announced today that it is changing how it evaluates requests for aid money. One of the first expected cuts is the rejection of Kenosha, Wisconsin’s request for a bomb disposal vehicle for its world famous “Cheese Castle.”

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1136265210806234192006-01-02T00:52:00.000-05:002006-01-03T00:14:27.080-05:00

The “Panda-Mania” that recently ensued at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. has helped to make 2005 an “exceptionally cute year” according to the New York Times. 2005 definitely saw a big jump in cuteness when compared to 2004’s “Possum-Mania.”

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1136178636290822832006-01-01T23:58:00.000-05:002006-01-02T00:11:56.556-05:00

President Bush has directed federal agencies to increase earthquake and volcano monitoring systems, deep ocean buoys, and other high-tech means of alerting ocean communities in order to protect U.S. shores from the threat of a tsunami. On the low-tech end of things, he plans to continue to secretly eavesdrop on any American suspected of being a "tsunami-affiliate."

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1133384375923872442005-11-30T15:57:00.000-05:002005-11-30T15:59:35.946-05:00

Karate Kid star Pat Morita died at the age of 73 last week in Las Vegas. In related news, Karate Kid star Ralph Macchio might as well be dead.

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1133329858697455002005-11-30T00:47:00.000-05:002005-11-30T00:50:58.710-05:00

Amnesty International has accused Tony Blair of undermining decades of human rights progress after ministers admitted they would use information gained by torture to prevent attacks on the United Kingdom. Blair had this to say:“We are against torture of any kind...that happens on purpose. Like, did you ever borrow a CD from a friend, and then you keep forgetting to return it, and then they move

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1133305529640318632005-11-29T18:04:00.000-05:002006-01-05T01:28:56.346-05:00

Many Muslim countries including Egypt, Syria, and Algeria skipped a summit meeting opening a two-day conference with the European Union. After agreeing to attend, many of the top leaders of these nations announced that they could not, like King Mohammed VI of Morocco, who said he had business with Japan; President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt, whose grandma died; and President Abdelaziz Bouteflika of

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1133246356706984382005-11-29T01:30:00.000-05:002005-11-29T01:44:12.366-05:00

War protesters left their campsite in a field near President Bush's ranch Sunday, vowing to return during Easter for a third vigil if U.S. troops are still in Iraq. Alan promised that he would not forget the marshmallows again if the third vigil does in fact take place. However, all protesters agreed that they would prefer the safe return of all U.S. troops over sharing delicious s’mores.--------

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1133198751079482332005-11-28T12:24:00.000-05:002005-11-28T12:25:51.096-05:00

Continuing her role as a United Nations goodwill ambassador, Angelina Jolie traveled to the town of Balakot in earthquake-ravaged Pakistan this Thanksgiving. At a press conference before departing, Jolie said: “Pakistan? I don’t have any babies from there yet!”

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1133146789581611542005-11-27T21:57:00.000-05:002005-11-27T22:05:08.160-05:00

Former FEMA director Michael Brown announced this week that he is starting a disaster-preparedness consulting firm. The name of his business: Michael Brown, I.L.L.C., which of course stands for “Ironic Limited Liability Company.”-------------------------------Can you guess what movie this classic movie quote is from?"Marty! You've got to come back with me."For some reason, I decided to post a

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1133043081491697392005-11-26T17:02:00.000-05:002005-11-26T17:12:29.766-05:00

A new Vatican document excludes most gay men, (even those who are celibate), from the priesthood, only allowing ordination for candidates who have experienced "transitory" homosexual tendencies that have been "clearly overcome." In order to be certain that their tendencies were overcome, candidates will subjected to a scientific screening that the Vatican is calling the "Gyllenhaal Test."

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1132957159748782312005-11-25T17:14:00.000-05:002005-11-25T17:19:19.763-05:00

At a reconciliation conference in Cairo this week, Iraq's warring political factions united in a call for the withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq. This is considered the most significant of recent gestures calling for the departure of U.S. forces, including many citizens of Iraq cleaning up, turning the music off, and repeatedly telling U.S. forces that they really have to get up early tomorrow

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1132847629038181992005-11-24T10:47:00.000-05:002005-11-24T10:53:49.056-05:00

Ruth M. Siems, inventor of Stove Top stuffing, died at the age of 74. In a statement from her family, Ms. Siems will be cremated before her remains reach their final resting place, inside the body cavity of a 14 lb Butterball turkey.

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1132030118594881592005-11-14T23:48:00.000-05:002005-11-14T23:48:55.753-05:00

Yesterday's classic movie quote was from...Back to the Future Part II.James Woods was the only one who correctly guessed the right movie. (James Woods did not post a comment in my blog. His eyes told me he knew the answer as he shouted in front of a bunch of lights while AC/DC played before the Eagles game tonight.) None of you, no matter how hard you try, will ever be James Woods. -------

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1131922178425394912005-11-13T17:46:00.000-05:002005-11-13T18:03:40.186-05:00

Can you guess what movie this classic movie quote is from?"Oh, yeah! Everything is great."If you are literate, you can read this movie quote and then use your brain to remember what movie it is from. Movie answer tomorrow (or later on today!!!)!!!------------There were a lot of subway disruptions this weekend. If you're ever stuck on the subway for a while, allow me to suggest a "game" to amuse

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1131515691204323182005-11-09T00:42:00.000-05:002005-11-09T00:54:51.216-05:00

I have consistently crammed my current black messenger bag full of crap long enough that it has once again reached the point at which it is beginning to fall apart. The stitching under the handle on the top of the bag has come completely undone, making it look like the top half will rip off any minute now.I carried this bag slung on my shoulder on my way to the bus. Since I'd probably be waiting

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1131423027240906972005-11-07T23:04:00.000-05:002005-11-07T23:12:40.673-05:00

Before you answer the question posed in today's title, please visit this self proclaimed "Weird Blog.""My Weird Blog"I know for a fact that this blogger is not 15. AN EIGHT YEAR OLD KID MADE THIS BLOG.The worst part of it is that I'm still equally fascinated and amused by the idea of mutants and vampires.I can't wait to read some of his sketches 14 years from now.

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1131338728995399242005-11-06T23:36:00.000-05:002005-11-06T23:45:29.016-05:00

Text-Based Cat Cartoon #4An outlaw crouches in desperation below his window, next to two giant sacks labelled with dollar signs. His hideout is littered with bills and cigarette butts. He grips a tommy gun, a cigarette balanced precariously on his lower lip. He is prepared to make his final stand. As bullets come flying through his window, his attention is brought, momentarily, to a figure behind

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1131147798203686862005-11-04T18:23:00.000-05:002005-11-04T18:43:18.220-05:00

Last week's classic movie quote was from...Back to the Future Part II.The only person who was correct was "Maggie." The rest of you should bow down before her. You are all very welcome for what I'm sure was an amazing week filled with tension, nail-biting, and blog-checking. This blog, and the movie trivia game existing within it may be my greatest contribution to society.-------I fell off of the

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1130133587328359662005-10-24T00:59:00.000-05:002005-10-24T01:11:44.470-05:00

Can you guess what movie this classic movie quote is from?"Are you okay? Is everything all right?"I am quoting a movie by writing one of the lines from that movie in this blog. Movie answer tomorrow (or later on today!!!)!!!

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1128540283403527772005-10-21T07:05:00.000-05:002005-10-23T22:14:21.100-05:00

Come on, guys. Give me my lunch bag back. What are you gonna do? You're gonna close your locker and then start walking to French, but then you're just gonna turn around and open your locker back up. You're not gonna really keep my lunch bag. Let's just cut to the chase and give me my lunch bag back.Kelly. Kelly. This is not funny. This is only funny to you and Derek. And I'm not even sure it's

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1129612089451094192005-10-17T23:57:00.000-05:002005-10-18T00:08:09.456-05:00

Yesterday's classic movie quote was from...Back to the Future Part II.You are all cowards, because no one even attempted to guess a movie. Cowards.-------Text-Based Cat Cartoon #3An old woman stands up out of her dusty armchair. Her eyes are vacant, blank behind her spectacles. Her chin disappears into a mess of wrinkles on her neck. Her tiny arm defiantly holds a television remote control

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1129526666779677062005-10-17T00:22:00.000-05:002005-10-17T00:24:26.790-05:00

Can you guess what movie this classic movie quote is from?"I haven't."Let those movie guesses start rolling in!!!Movie answer tomorrow (or later on today!!!)!!!

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1129337998509376102005-10-14T19:55:00.000-05:002005-10-14T19:59:58.516-05:00

Stacy Keach Joe Wengert Joe Wengert Stacy Keach

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1129232905015822122005-10-13T14:38:00.000-05:002005-10-13T14:48:25.020-05:00

This Yom Kippur, I decided that "Peek-A-Boo!" is not a good song. I already knew it was one of my least favorite Devo songs. The situation frustrates me a bit, because it should be a cool song. It's about the concept of object permanence. It makes a game you play with babies seem scary. It's by Devo. Unfortunately, it's still terrible.I'm not Jewish.

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1129175754265688892005-10-12T22:53:00.000-05:002005-10-12T22:55:54.273-05:00

Are you sure??

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1129089428046410052005-10-11T22:49:00.000-05:002005-10-11T22:57:08.056-05:00

EVERYBODY PLEASE LISTEN UP TO THIS IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!DO NOT spoil tonight's episode of According to Jim if you see me tomorrow. I did not watch it. In fact, I haven't watched any of the episodes for this season yet. I finally finished my season four DVDs last night after staying up all night, three nights in a row. (There were some major bombshells dropped last season, right?) I totally want

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1128989395941673292005-10-10T19:00:00.000-05:002005-10-10T19:09:55.946-05:00

Yesterday's classic movie quote was from...Back to the Future Part II.You really know your stuff, "anonymous!"The spirit award goes to, Chris Woznitza, the German guy who visited this site.Hopefully somebody will be able to rival "anonymous" next time.-----------Now, in an effort to:1. Get my blog to come up when people google "Stacy Keach"2. Get "Stacy Keach" to come up when people google my

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1128881137150419052005-10-09T13:02:00.000-05:002005-10-09T13:05:37.173-05:00

Can you guess what movie this classic movie quote is from?"Marty, you're acting like you haven't seen me in a week!"Post your movie guesses in the comments!!Movie answer tomorrow!!!

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1128547970548759692005-10-08T13:30:00.000-05:002005-10-08T14:07:31.773-05:00

I can certainly understand why you might be confused, Brian. People think its strange to see their barber anyplace that's not the barbershop. I guess I'm the last guy you'd expect to see at your spring recital.I'll keep my review short: Magnificent! I'm not a classical music buff per se, but I think if I had shown up here in a blindfold tonight, someone could've convinced me that I was listening

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1128492298869345282005-10-06T23:25:00.000-05:002005-10-06T23:23:26.826-05:00

Step 3: Finish drawing "Snagglepuss."

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1128492128120857782005-10-05T23:15:00.001-05:002005-10-05T23:36:15.136-05:00

Step 2: Add a curved line from the tip of his nose for his mouth.

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1128548348052185022005-10-05T23:15:00.000-05:002005-10-05T23:35:19.296-05:00

Angela wait!You can get on that bus, but I want you to think about my offer on your ride home. Take the whole weekend to think about it if you need to. Just know that my offer still stands and I really mean it.I can make you the next student council class president. I know you think a lot of people don't like you Angela, but you're wrong. Some people probably don't like you, but that's because

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1128532545037485512005-10-05T12:07:00.000-05:002005-10-05T12:15:45.036-05:00

Mayor Bloomberg has announced that he will not attend Thursday night's mayoral debate at the Apollo Theater in Harlem. The debate will go on as planned, allowing a more pressing question to be answered...BEARD?or MOUSTACHE?

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1128491723119152932005-10-05T00:36:00.000-05:002005-10-05T00:55:23.126-05:00

Step 1: Draw a small, upside-down triangle with rounded edges for the nose.

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1128319942028690962005-10-03T01:06:00.000-05:002005-10-03T01:12:52.096-05:00

Yesterday's classic movie quote was from...Back to the Future Part II.Great job, "anonymous!"I hope to see more guesses next round!-----Text-Based Cat Cartoon #2A man and a woman are talking to someone named Carlo seated at a kitchen table. They are drinking coffee.MAN: "Let's discuss your options, Carlo: You can continue to act like a total maniac, upsetting everybody, or you can give us all a

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1128229326234739632005-10-01T23:39:00.000-05:002005-10-02T00:02:06.240-05:00

Can you guess what movie this classic movie quote is from?"Jennifer! Oh are you a sight for sore eyes! Let me look at you!"Movie answer tomorrow!!!

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1128116781210842142005-09-30T16:41:00.000-05:002005-09-30T16:46:21.223-05:00

If for some reason I was put in charge of breaking up an angry mob, I would definitely turn the hoses on them.I'd probably feel pretty bad about it afterwards.

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1128054181280792462005-09-29T22:56:00.000-05:002005-09-29T23:24:35.043-05:00

Like most New Yorkers, I don't make my weekend movie plans without picking up a copy of the Villager to get the latest movie reviews from former lawyer, congressman, and Mayor of New York City, Ed Koch: His thoughts on this week's two biggest releases:Just Like Heaven:"Although I never wished death on the woman (Reese Witherspoon), the only sadness I felt while watching this film was that I had

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1127971026756555152005-09-29T00:11:00.000-05:002005-09-29T00:17:06.763-05:00

Today, in an effort to remediate the reading skills of my students, we studied word families. While looking at the -EST family, someone made the word "chest." I asked one of the other students to use the word in a sentence.STUDENT: "My brother said, 'I'm gonna punch that nigga in his chest.'"I should write a textbook.

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1127784179012241422005-09-26T19:59:00.000-05:002005-09-26T20:59:12.850-05:00

I teach middle school.In the middle of fourth period today, one of my sixth graders looked up from his "I Am..." poem and innocently announced: "My dick hurts."This boy is more immature than his peers. He is somewhat lacking in social skills. He was not attempting to distract his classmates, be funny, or upset his teacher. He was simply informing me, before we got ready for lunch, that his "dick

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1127704526111293362005-09-25T22:05:00.000-05:002005-09-25T22:15:26.120-05:00

Somehow the world survived the fact that I waited more than a month between my first and second blog posts.I promise to never do that to you again, Internet.Text-Based Cat Cartoon #1A weary, sad-eyed woman, hands on her hips, looks deep into the eyes of her companion. He has tipped over a once-beautiful glass vase filled with flowers. Water pours down the living room counter. The vase, obviously

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15328373.post-1123779515267807792005-08-11T11:28:00.000-05:002005-08-11T11:58:35.273-05:00

You could imagine my disappointment when, mere days before I was about to launch my blog, "Grown and Sexy," I saw a billboard advertising Babyface's new album, "Grown and Sexy." You've bested me again*, Babyface!I refuse to completely remove the phrase "Grown and Sexy" from this blog title, because a more accurate description of me does not exist.For those Babyface fans who may have stumbled onto

Joe Wengerthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194925156905450383noreply@blogger.com4